It's Monday, and it's time for some 24. I absolutely love 24. Love it. No bones about it. That show is a pure guilty pleasure. I don't care how stupid the plot-lines get, how redundant the story devices are, how flimsy the supporting cast, I watch because of Jack Bauer. Bauer is the symbolism of what American justice should be. Pure Death. Death to terrorism. Death to corruption. Death to the opposition of a free society. Death to incompetent government jerkoffs. Death to Chloe. Seriously, I can watch Jack Bauer kill, maim, torture, spittle people all day asking "WHERE IS THE DETONATOR? — DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS BUT I WILL IF I HAVE TO AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Sure 24 has become a cliche of itself. Every season has become a repeat of itself with different characters and new enemies. Premise is usually the same every year. Bad guys show up, give the President an ulcer. Jack Bauer is doing something that doesn't involve kicking puppies in the first hour. Government agencies beg Jack for help — they use the "Do it for America — do it cause you don't want dead innocent Americans on your conscience". They always think they have Jack on a leash (cause he's always expendable). Little do they know its Jack that's got everyone on his leash. No one believes in Jack. Jack goes rogue. Government is after Jack. Terrorist are after Jack. Jack is after everyone. Someone innocent always gets tortured - usually by Jack. There's always an evil mole in the Government. There's usually a mole you think is bad, but turns out to be good. Someone Jack cares about usually dies. Jack usually has to pretend to kill someone to get into deep cover. Jack always makes people make an ultimate sacrifice because it will save "Countless Lives". Jack will kill everyone he needs to. Jack will kill his own family members. Jack will cut someone's body parts off. Jack will save the day. Jack always looks like killing people like it's going out of style takes a toll at the end. Jack will go on hiatus. Of course until next season when they need him to rinse and repeat.

So with all of this violence, you have to ask yourself, exactly how many people has he actually killed in 6 seasons of work? (7 is in progress, but admittedly, he's off to a slow start) I've actually been looking for a definitive resource for some form of a kill count. There's a few blogs out there, but one post I found on IGN message boards might be the most accurate. The poster "Inebriator" might have the most detailed account I've seen, it's even got the coolest title...

The Jack Bauer Historical Encyclopedia of Death. Check it out!

Glancing through it, 6 season's work has yielded 180.5 kills. Not sure where that half kill is but...that's more than any mass murderer I've ever heard off. He's a walking genocide waiting to happen. His most prolific hour? Season 4 - episode 6, between noon and 1pm had him offing 12 goons in a raid to save Defense Secretary Heller (whom he should have let die anyway cause that dude was a douchebag). His most impressive season was season 6, a whopping 49 kills (couldn't make it 50?). His slowest was season 1, only 13 (which I kinda find hard to believe) I guess the show writers were'nt sure how to introduce audiences with the basic equivalent to Jason Voorhees with a .40 cal Sig Sauer and body armor. So if you're in the mood to watch a ballet of terrorist death, foreign and domestic, tune in on Monday's at 9.

Also checkout Jack Bauer is God for some fun tidbits, And follow Jack on Twitter, there's fun to be had there.